Rae of Sunshine: For You, Leila Rae.

For 38 weeks and 5 days, we were one. I'll never forget the day I took that first pregnancy test on December 16th, 2009. I was in a panic thinking what was I going to do? I was 17 years old, still in high school, minimum wage job, no experience with babies what so ever, but I knew right then and there I wanted you. I put my shaking hand to my belly and silently said "It's gonna be ok baby, I'm gonna take care of you. Just hang on in there, I promise I'm gonna take good care of you." Still I continued to take MORE pregnancy tests just to be sure. ;) Your aunties dennise and astrid were with me. After 3 positive tests and 3 faces of shock, I decided to tell your daddy. Being in the age of technology that we are, I sent him a picture message of all the tests. The next day I went to the Del Sol Teen Center and took my 4th test. Again it was positive but this time I got an expected due date, August 24th, 2010. Hearing the words "due date" made it all that much more real and again I silently spoke to you. "Ok, I can do this little one. I have to tell your grandma now. Wish me luck baby." That night I cried to your Oma hoping that she would still support me and now you. She did and from that day on we started our "plan." My christmas break from school went something like this, fatigue, nausea, uncontrolled vomiting, hunger, then more nausea, more fatigue, and knocking out at 8 o clock. LOL. On January 25th, the day after my 18th birthday, your Daddy, Oma, and I went to my very first appt. You were a rowdy little thing! Waving your little bud arms and legs everywhere! I was 10 weeks and 3 days. :) I was so fascinated by the perfect little human I could see so clearly on the ultrasound. At 12 weeks we got to see you again! You were so much bigger now! More proportioned and still as wiggly as ever. My little wiggle worm I called you<3 For weeks I read articles, bought my "What to expect when your expecting" book, slept on my body pillow, looked everywhere for names, and enjoyed my new cravings. LOTS & LOTS OF CHILE! On a trip to Las Vegas with your Grandpa, Nana, Uncles, Cousins, & Great Grandma and Grandpa I felt you move for the first time. I was sitting at the Luxor hotel buffet eating when I felt a little nudge, I stopped, put my hand to my belly, and waited. Nothing. As soon as I began stuffing my face once again another nudge :) you obviously liked what I was eating! The rest of that week & until you were born I felt MANY nudges, then kicks, flips, stretches, hiccups, and organ jabs haha. On April 1st we found out you were a little gal and mommy had set her heart on the name Leila Rae; Leila came not only from the song Layla by Eric Clapton but also from many baby name websites and the Rae came from your Auntie Steph. Her middle name is Rae also, I thought it was such a beautiful and unique name and flowed so perfectly with Leila. As the weeks passed, I would talk to you daily. "How are today Leila Rae?", "Do you wanna take a nap with mommy?", "Please dont kick my bladder baby!", you and I had some pretty interesting conversations :) WE did everything together. You went with me to my senior prom! We danced with mommy's high school friends and even made a 5 min appearance at an after party ;) You also were right there with me as I walked across the stage at the Don Haskins center to receive my high school diploma. Both of my baby showers were so much fun and we got so many gifts for you! We truely are blessed with loving family and friends my dear. As my pregnancy came to an end, I was swollen, hot, impatient, anxious, and very tired! I just wanted you out! I had everything I needed for you, all that was missing was YOU! So when Dr.Pitre told me I could be induced i jumped at the chance! Although scared, I was ready! After 29 hrs of labor and 25 minutes of pushing, you were born! I kept saying "My baby my baby!" as I reached my arms out to you. The nurses laid you on my chest and I was amazed. You were so tiny so perfect. A head of dark hair and light skin. Your cries were soothed by the sound of my voice. They rushed you off to the nursery because they said you looked "pale" but hello! Look at me! Haha It turned out to be that you were just very white like your momma :) I was able to sleep for about an hour or two but after I woke up, all I wanted to do was be with you, I kept asking your daddy if we could go to the nursery! Thankfully we were all moved to our post partum room and we spent our first few hours together<3 I couldnt put you down! I wanted to hold you in my arms forever :) I still feel like that to this day, but now your a little bigger and you get annoyed when i try to love on you :( I know this is the first of many rejections by you my little darling, but just know if I get a little TOO affectionate in front of your friends one day when your older, its not because I want to embarrass you, it's because I LOVE YOU with all my heart. You'll always be my precious baby bean. <3